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Thread: Continue the story - Vol2, real deal

  1. #16
    Safelist Member ^ILoveMyWallet^'s Avatar
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    Until every saturday, post a continuation of your own.
    Sunday I guess it will be decided today or?

  2. #17
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    I'll 1 one more day if someone else appears. It looks bad having only 2 contestants.. :/

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  3. #18
    t all started with a question to the youngest student: "What is best in life? -To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." It was at that time, when Master realised, that a great warrior is about to emerge from this young one.

    His name was... Well, does it really matter what his name is? No... He was a man with full confidence. A man with great fortitude, competence! Either way, I'm willing to bet, there was no such man that stood on his way. But then one day...

    But then one day came a man who has changed for the better thing. He opened the eyes of many people's eyes were full of tears you cry, fear and longing to see a day full of sunshine color, to see how their female children grow up with confidence, to continue the way for anyone dreamed of. And their dreams have were .....
    GLUPI RIKI !

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  4. #19
    Safelist Member ^ILoveMyWallet^'s Avatar
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    Nasty tho.. It seems we are only 3 contestants after all.. lol

  5. #20
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Akhetaton View Post
    ... when he was sleeping, at 5am, a nowhere sound came to his ears and woke up him, he seemed frightned for the first time he remembered... the sound was a voice coming from an unknown place, he was just hearing it «Why have you did this to me?!» on a trembling voice that scares even the most courajous men...
    Everything except «Why have you did this to me?!» is ok, you could be more original with the words.

    Quote Originally Posted by ^ILoveMyWallet^ View Post
    ... the unexpected happened. After several hours of heavy and unforgiving training the hero showed his true face. Being tired he forgot and left his feelings to come to the surface,for a moment the boy stood still .... his eyes were sparkling, his face was hardened, the hatred was unimaginable...It was like a.. an-an aura of hate surrounding that boy and it.. it went to soar nearby regions...

    p.s: i hope i didn't make any spelling mistakes or w/e
    You can't describe his hate like this and leaving us with only this, you should end it up with something "he approaches the master and.." or something like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thevex View Post
    But then one day came a man who has changed for the better thing. He opened the eyes of many people's eyes were full of tears you cry, fear and longing to see a day full of sunshine color, to see how their female children grow up with confidence, to continue the way for anyone dreamed of. And their dreams have were .....
    The part about someone's arrival is good, but then you mixed it up too much, some strange grammar errors and you complicated too much. You could stop at "of many people" already and maybe tell more about this person or what he was about to do. You got too far away from the storyline.


    Winner of the week: Akhetaton

    It all started with a question to the youngest student: "What is best in life? -To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." It was at that time, when Master realised, that a great warrior is about to emerge from this young one.

    His name was... Well, does it really matter what his name is? No... He was a man with full confidence. A man with great fortitude, competence! Either way, I'm willing to bet, there was no such man that stood on his way. But then one day, when he was sleeping, at 5 in the morning, a nowhere sound came to his ears and woke up him. He was frightned for the first time he remembered... the sound was a voice coming from an unknown place and saying: "Why have you did this to me?!" with a trembling voice that scares even the most coragious men...
    Last edited by Cen; 6th December 2010 at 07:00 PM.

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  6. #21
    Safelist Member DRG-'s Avatar
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    thanks for considering my post as well




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  7. #22
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    Your didn't make any sense:

    But then one day...just a young powerless teenager.

    ???

    so I thought it's an error.

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  8. #23
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    It all started with a question to the youngest student: "What is best in life? -To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." It was at that time, when Master realised, that a great warrior is about to emerge from this young one.

    His name was... Well, does it really matter what his name is? No... He was a man with full confidence. A man with great fortitude, competence! Either way, I'm willing to bet, there was no such man that stood on his way. But then one day, when he was sleeping, at 5 in the morning, a nowhere sound came to his ears and woke up him. He was frightned for the first time he remembered... the sound was a voice coming from an unknown place and saying: "Why have you did this to me?!" with a trembling voice that scares even the most coragious men...
    ..He quickly, sweating all over his body, ran to his car thinking that there was safe. After some seconds, after starting breathing right, he grabbed his phone and called his father. The father answered the phone:
    -Yes, dear, why calling at so much late? - With sleepy voice..
    the man was starting to explain what happened when he suddenly heard a sound of his father being knifed, then he heard his father "Come fast, my son, He is killing me!!"...
    Last edited by Akhe; 8th December 2010 at 02:28 AM.



  9. #24
    Safelist Member DRG-'s Avatar
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    Then he started hearing footstepts beside his bed. He ran out of the house scared and restless, he kept repeting in his mind ("I know that voice" , "Why don't I remember"). After things calmed down, he returned to his bed and went to sleep.Nothing strange happened for the rest of the night, but in the morning he couldn't bealive his eyes when he saw...




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  10. #25
    Registered User KonK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrGisBacK View Post
    Then he started hearing footstepts beside his bed. He ran out of the house scared and restless, he kept repeting in his mind ("I know that voice" , "Why don't I remember"). After things calmed down, he returned to his bed and went to sleep.Nothing strange happened for the rest of the night, but in the morning he couldn't bealive his eyes when he saw...
    A really strange shadow moving randomly in his bedroom, at first he thought it was simply hallucination, but he could not be more wrong. The shadow started approaching him and he heard his father's voice. Immediately, he woke up and thought to himself: "Oh, thank God it was just a nightmare". But, right at that moment, his phone rang, he was too scared to answer it. He thought the caller would give up, another mistake in the same day. When he bravely answered the phone on the second time it rang, he dropped his jaws because it was...

  11. #26
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    Man I think you are wrong, you need to continue this story


    It all started with a question to the youngest student: "What is best in life? -To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." It was at that time, when Master realised, that a great warrior is about to emerge from this young one.

    His name was... Well, does it really matter what his name is? No... He was a man with full confidence. A man with great fortitude, competence! Either way, I'm willing to bet, there was no such man that stood on his way. But then one day, when he was sleeping, at 5 in the morning, a nowhere sound came to his ears and woke up him. He was frightned for the first time he remembered... the sound was a voice coming from an unknown place and saying: "Why have you did this to me?!" with a trembling voice that scares even the most coragious men...
    , not the past poster's one



  12. #27
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    Akhe is right.

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  13. #28
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    too bad this thread's dead



  14. #29
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    3 continuations came, I'll choose one this weekend

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  15. #30
    Administrator Cen's Avatar
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    It all started with a question to the youngest student: "What is best in life? -To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women." It was at that time, when Master realised, that a great warrior is about to emerge from this young one.

    His name was... Well, does it really matter what his name is? No... He was a man with full confidence. A man with great fortitude, competence! Either way, I'm willing to bet, there was no such man that stood on his way. But then one day, when he was sleeping, at 5 in the morning, a nowhere sound came to his ears and woke up him. He was frightned for the first time he remembered... the sound was a voice coming from an unknown place and saying: "Why have you did this to me?!" with a trembling voice that scares even the most coragious men...
    ..He quickly, sweating all over his body, ran to his car thinking that there was safe. After some seconds, after starting breathing right, he grabbed his phone and called his father. The father answered the phone:
    -Yes, dear, why calling at so much late? - With sleepy voice..
    the man was starting to explain what happened when he suddenly heard a sound of his father being knifed, then he heard his father "Come fast, my son, He is killing me!!"...
    Winner of continuation is Akhetaton.

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